When Does Good Manners Begin?

What a viral wedding video says about modern parenting.

KUALA LUMPUR, Oct 25, 2025: At what age should manners and etiquette be taught to children?

It’s a question that lingers in my mind every time I witness scenes of kids running wild in public places — at restaurants, malls, even at friends’ homes — while parents look on as if such behaviour is normal or harmless.

But should it be?

Earlier this year, a viral incident reminded us how early lessons in manners can (and should) begin.

When Play Turns Into Chaos

In April, a video circulated on social media showing a child accidentally knocking down an entire wedding dais (pelamin) during a ceremony, leaving the bride visibly upset.

What made the story worse was that the child’s mother later turned the moment into a joke on TikTok — laughing it off instead of treating it as a learning moment.

In her explanation, the mother said she hadn’t expected her child to act that way. She was taking photos of the bride when her child ran onto the stage to play with friends. One of them sat on a sofa, and in the next moment, the sofa — and the entire backdrop — came crashing down.

More Than Just a Mishap

Yes, accidents happen. Children are naturally curious and energetic. But there’s a fine line between innocent play and disruptive behaviour — especially in public or formal settings.

Teaching manners isn’t about scolding or strict control; it’s about helping children understand boundaries, empathy, and respect for others’ spaces. These are lessons that should start as early as two or three years old, long before school begins.

Simple habits — saying “thank you,” waiting one’s turn, not interrupting adults, keeping voices low in public, and respecting other people’s belongings — form the foundation of good character.

And these lessons begin not in classrooms, but at home.

Children Reflect Their Parents

When a child misbehaves, it’s often a reflection not of bad intent, but of what they’ve been taught — or not taught. As parents or adults, how we respond matters. Laughing off bad behaviour teaches children that their actions carry no consequences.

Correcting them gently, explaining why something is wrong, and modelling good behaviour ourselves teach far more lasting lessons.

Respect, empathy, and self-awareness don’t grow overnight — they are nurtured, little by little, every day.

A Gentle Reminder

So the next time your child plays a little too roughly, speaks out of turn, or runs wild at someone else’s event — pause and guide them. Because manners aren’t about perfection; they’re about awareness.

And awareness begins the moment a child starts to understand the world — which is much earlier than most of us think.